There are times in your life when it feels like everything is falling apart…like everything you’ve worked so hard for…all comes crumbling down around you.
You pick yourself and keep going and going and you try to move forward, but nothing feels like it makes any sense when those times are happening. Sometimes it lasts a day or two, but other times it lasts much longer.
Lately, I’ve been in the longer place and as difficult as it is to share this with you, I have to, because I’m sick and tired of plastic, perfect people who have insulated themselves from feeling much of anything. I’m tired of people sharing their apparently perfect lives on Facebook, because I know that no one’s life is perfect or shiny and all pulled together all the time. Don’t believe everything you read.
I don’t know what brought all this on for me, except that there have been some disappointments recently when it comes to business. Giving comes easily for me, but often isn’t returned.
I need better giving boundaries. I love the human connection and I give too much.
Giving too much goes back to wanting to be loved by everyone – another impossibility, but if you have this tendency, then you can relate. Just when I think I have this part of ME figured it…it rears its ugly head again and I go into a tailspin.
It can be a bit exhausting, right?
Perhaps you’re wondering why I’m sharing this with you? I mean seriously, some things aren’t necessary to share. And this is just the lie that I’ve told myself over and over again.
They are necessary to share because we can’t ever connect with anyone – especially when we’re hurting, if we choose to hide – if we bury our heads and pretend. I’m not pretending anymore and as difficult as this is for me…I have to be a Warrior Truth-teller, because otherwise I’m a fraud.I'm not going to be the plastic, perfect person who tells the world that everything is just fine! Click To Tweet
So what do you do when you’re a giver and it comes totally naturally to you? Do you stop giving? NO. That would be impossible. Do you put on your armor and not let anyone in? No, not that either.
For me…I have to keep giving and taking chances, but I also have to be cautious about who I allow into my world.
I’m putting an imaginary orb around my heart that glows with light. I’m seeing my heart this way and I’m asking the orb to protect that part of me that has a hard time just shaking it off.
I have to continue taking risks because I know that without risk, life is flat and boring and one dimensional.
I will reach out to those friends who get me – and I’ll trust and have faith that God gave me this heart for a reason. I’m not meant to be insulated and protected from pain. I believe that pain is where I’m born again and when everything falls apart and I begin to question everything, I’m going to continue to love and give.
We are all connected to one another and it’s only when we feel like we’re in little, bitty pieces all over the floor that we can rise again, and stronger.
We can do hard things – together.
We can heal together.
We can grow into our most beautiful self, but we must do it together.
The next time you feel like things are falling apart…extend your hand and ask for help. This is where the magic lives.