Last week I was having coffee (and a crepe) with a friend of mine and we got to talking about how many women are walking around appearing to be “just fine,” but inside, are so broken. Not a very uplifting topic, I’m afraid, but nonetheless, one I think more women should have.
I’m not sure we do anyone any favors when we send the message of how women can have it all, while also doing it perfectly! Seriously, I want to scream and pull my hair out. You can’t do it all – all by yourself! But this is the message we send to young women these days. So why don’t we just STOP…because you can’t have it all – not unless you have some kind of awesome support from a whole lot of super competent people.
The pressure we put on ourselves to be all things to all people and to our job and to our friends and to our families and to everything…is absolute insanity. And you know what happens when a woman tries so hard to be perfect and do it all?
Eventually she breaks! Or she falls and hard! I’m tired of it all.
Truthfully, I can’t stand all the phony, superficial interactions. I’m not always fine. Are you? I’m not always looking great. Are you? I’m not always in the mood to even get out of bed. Are you?
I want to be known and I want to KNOW the people I hang out with. I want community where it’s perfectly okay to not be okay. I really want to sit with someone who I first meet and cut through the stuff and let our hair down and share a secret that no one knows.
That’s where I am in my life. I don’t want any more striving for perfection. I just want to have coffee with you and be real and tell you that together is better and perfect doesn’t work and it’s okay to be scared and that God loves us anyway with all of our brokenness – God truly loves us. (I never knew this about God, but I have to tell you, now that I not only believe it, but I know it…there’s peace.)
So after this conversation with my friend over coffee and a crepe, I got to thinking about vulnerability. What would happen in our lives, but more importantly to our souls, if we leaned (really leaned) into our own vulnerability and we somehow discovered our true inner strength?
I do believe this is what God wants us to do…to stop the runaway train and slow down…to actually feel our feelings…to explore what lives within us…to honor the quiet place that gets lost in the noise that surrounds us…to do some soul keeping.
How can we know who we are if we run away from what is…from being vulnerable…from being fully seen…from feeling it all?
I’m exploring and feeling it all and I’ve got to tell you – it doesn’t always feel good…but the irony is that it is good. When it doesn’t feel good is the time I go into the weeds and it’s there that I find the truth. It’s there that I lean in more to discover what is…to feel my pain…to accept my vulnerability. It’s there that I find God and ultimately my strength and peace.
So what if vulnerability is the answer to inner strength? What if it’s the way to truth? What if we experimented and took off our masks and shed our armor and showed up in all of our vulnerability? What would happen? Do you think you could do it? Do you think it would hurt? Do you think it would be scary?
Or could it be your path to Inner Strength and Personal Peace?
Please leave a comment below and tell me what you think about this. And also if you have a book you turn to for strength.