How do you know when it’s time to walk away? I’ve been plagued by this question most of my life.
May I just state for the record that I don’t like to walk away, because walking away…turning your back feels so final. I spent the better part of my existence trying to avoid walking away, mostly from people, and almost 100% of the time, I continued to get trounced upon. My heart has been through the wringer more times than I care to remember. And yet…I kept coming back for more, because I didn’t know how to walk away.
How to Know When to Walk Away
It also takes courage to walk away and I was lacking in that area as well. It shouldn’t take courage to say that you matter as much as the next person, but when you’re lacking in confidence, you don’t really feel like or believe that you matter. I mean, why would someone treat you badly if you didn’t have it coming?
This type of thinking is dangerous for your soul. No one deserves to be mistreated and the sooner you begin standing up for yourself, the sooner you’ll discover how freeing and personally empowering it is.
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But don’t take my word for it…see for yourself.
So how do you know if it’s time to walk away?
Recently I met someone who, like me, had moved from another state to Nashville. It’s a big move and it’s a rough adjustment and initially she reached out to me. We clicked and I allowed her into into my world. I invited her to go places. I included her in events that she otherwise wouldn’t have been able to go to, but each time I did this, she cancelled at the last minute or simply disappeared and I didn’t hear from her at all.
She is probably having a really hard time with her move. In fact, she pretty much hates it here, but that’s not my fault or my problem. She doesn’t get to lay her anger about her move on me, nor does she get to treat me with such total disregard and disrespect. Period. Having me on your side is a big bonus. It’s a good thing. It’s a gift and today, I know this, but I didn’t always know it.
I’m a great friend, but I’ve spent too much of my life in one-way friendships and I don’t do it anymore. Today, I walked away and she might not even know it, but I emotionally disengaged and that’s the end of it. There’s no need to let her know. This isn’t about her. It’s about protecting my heart.
Maybe you have a “friendship” that’s lop-sided and needs some attention. If this is a long-time relationship, I always recommend having a conversation first…sharing your heart and stating your truth, but if that gets you nowhere, what is your option? Do you stay and take emotional abuse or do you walk away?
Be advised that walking away is often lonely. If you’re someone who chooses to love deeply and you also give openly, freely and generously, you’re going to have a harder time. It hurts to walk away, but it hurts more to stay where you aren’t considered important enough to be an equal in your relationship.
I always, always give someone the benefit of the doubt, much to my personal detriment, but today, I have a healthy sense of what I bring to a relationship and I have expectations of receiving something in return. What I expect doesn’t have to be the same as what I give, but it has to be something that has meaning.
I can’t have only takers in my life any longer. Not only can’t I, but I won’t.
The loneliness fades and I now know that God opens that next door to help us heal. There are millions and millions of humans in this world. Why do we choose to stay in a friendship with someone who doesn’t treat us with basic courtesies?
Yes…walking away is hard…but staying is destructive. You deserve to have relationships that fill you up. As you grow in your journey, your friendships are bound to change. Give yourself permission to face the fear…honor yourself and walk away.
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Did you know that you can have a complimentary Discovery Session with me, where I’ll help you understand your specific situation and determine how and what would help you the most. It’s on me and I have a few times available for these calls each week. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Go here and reserve time on my calendar.