So you know those days when you wake up and you just feel yucky…not physically yucky, but emotionally yucky? I am not a fan of those days.
Generally speaking they don’t just show up. Clearly stuff has been building but maybe if you’re like I am…you tend to ignore the stuff and keep plowing through your day, because God forbid, you should ever give in and slow down long enough to listen to what’s going on.
Recently I had one of these days and may I just say that I was less than pleasant to be around. I tend to get “bitchy” when I’m feeling yucky, and I cry without even knowing why. The crying begins and then the floodgates open and I’m off to the races, but it’s not fun. And when it’s not fun…I tend to run.
This time, I didn’t. Running doesn’t work. Burying your head under the covers doesn’t either and crying is simply a release of all that’s been building over time and deftly ignored.
It was time to do something differently. As yucky and awful as I felt, I decided to get quiet and listen. I don’t have an easy time being still or quiet, which is probably why I’m not good at meditating, even though I believe wholeheartedly in the practice. As soon as I get quiet my brain starts racing and I can’t shut it off.
Making a decision to get quiet and just be, works better for me, although the brain chatter is still present. In the quiet I discovered that first and foremost I was tired – physically and mentally tired. Non-stop work will do that to you.
Next what showed up were a whole lot of What Ifs, which is the equivalent of fear. Yes…even coaches and mentors have fear and if you ever hear from one that says she doesn’t…RUN the other direction because you’re dealing with a dishonest coach. So why would fear show up now when I have so much good happening in my life? Why now? I had to ask the question.
Fear shows up when you’re about to make some changes. Remember, fear and change are best friends and they travel everywhere together. Of course, that’s what it was. Fear…the robber of dreams…the thief in the night…the critic that tells you no one will show up…or you’re not enough and on and on and on. You know fear, right?
I decided to lean in and listen to what my fear was telling me and like always, it comes back to doubt and not feeling like I’m good enough. And it’s all stuff from my childhood because by now you know…I didn’t get the “You’re so sparkly” memo and I never once heard that I could do great things in my life. I heard that I was average and I better not be rocking any boats, which is odd, because ,if you know me…I’m pretty sparkly and I tend to rock a lot of boats, but my FEAR doesn’t believe any of it.
I recovered and woke up the next day feeling good and solid. You can cope when the yuck takes over your life. It doesn’t have to stick around and cause you all kinds of trouble. Here’s what I did differently this time.
- First, I acknowledged that this was not going to be productive day. You can’t be productive when you feel like yuck.
- I let the feeing wash over me and I gave it the attention it needed.
- I stopped all work; turned off my computer; disengaged from social media especially Pinterest and Facebook and I took a walk in the country. You don’t have to walk in the country, but you pretty much have to disengage from distractions especially social media, which is excellent at telling you that you aren’t good enough.
- I leaned into the yuck. I know, counter-intuitive but you’ve got to allow the negative emotions out or they won’t go away. Stuffing your feelings is never a good idea because they will always find a way to get out.
- I journaled about what the fear was saying and then I did an exercise to take my power back. My brain is not always my friend. In fact, it’s often a formidable opponent and it fights dirty. I’m more powerful than my brain and you are too.
- I asked myself some questions; the first being, “Is this real?” Is there one iota of proof that this is real and the answer was a resounding, “NO!”
- Next I reframed the dialogue. I wrote each of my fears and limiting beliefs and then I rewrote them so that they had a different story…and a better outcome. And then I read them out loud repeatedly.
- I prayed out loud and I asked for God’s providence to help me be quiet enough to listen and to keep listening even if I started to feel better. ( Personally I think out loud is better because when I’m feeling yucky, I want to be sure God hears me.)
- The rest of the day, I pretty much did nothing. I gave myself a chance to rest and just be. It’s not easy to BE in our hurry up and get it done world, but we were not put on this Earth to ignore our soul and the only way you can connect with your beautiful heart and soul is to BE.
- I took a long warm bath surrounded by candles and music and I relaxed…I let the yuck wash away and then I slept.
Yuck is always going to be part of life. It’s learning how to manage it when it shows up. It’s accepting that as women we will not always feel put together. It’s knowing when to listen and it’s finding your way to coming home to you.